|Home sweet home.|
I debated about posting what I am about to post, but lately I have had a lot of time to think. I have concluded that the stories of the ups and downs of life also go into my art and need to be told. No worries, I will do my best to spare you all the gory details!First of all, I am writing this from a place of healing and reflection. It is a good place to be even though at times I get restless. It is a necessary place to be. I do, however, need to find a path that leads to here that isn't quite so painful. Does it exist? I don't know. I suspect we all find it in our own way.
August was a strange month. It had joyful highs, and gut wrenching lows. The highs were joyful times spent with family and friends. The previous post is about one of those gut-wrenching lows. Life with Twill was so very sweet and came full circle. She was my constant companion and a true joy. I will always have that, but I miss her and grieve for her.
The other challenge in August has been my health. Last week I had surgery to remove a very large benign tumor in my abdomen. The surgeon also removed my right ovary and fallopian tube. All of this is a huge relief for me. Before the surgery I looked about 5 months pregnant and was very very uncomfortable. I lost 12 pounds overnight from the surgery!
Needless to say, I am on the way to healing but will not be able to go out to paint for a month or so. I will be able to work in the studio in short shifts and plan to start next week. I tire easily and, if I am not careful, I tend to overdo it a bit.
I do listen to my body. I have not taken pain meds other than what they gave me during the surgery so my body definitely tells me when to stop. It is a bit disconcerting that I need to stop often.
This has been a time to rest, re-evaluate, contemplate, and heal. When events around me start shouting this loud, I stop and listen. When I do this, the things that are most important to me come popping to the surface. Here is what I find important now:
- Community: I have been touched and humbled by the wonderful people in our little community who have given me everything from loving thoughts, support, and offers of places to stay while in Portland during the surgery, not to mention flowers, hugs and kisses, and offers of food. They all have inspired me to return that love ten-fold and to count my blessings. This has been a good reminder on how important community is for everyone, specially now and in the future.
- Art: the need to create is still a major path in my life and is becoming even more urgent now. I am renewing my dedication to making even more progress in my drawing and painting skills. I have pages of ideas in my sketchbook that need to come to life.
- Music: This has been a rising star in my life bringing me much joy. I have the privilege of playing in a live performing band with my mate and dear friends. We are growing as a group and for my contribution, I need to step up and continue to improve my cello skills which have a long way to go.
- Healing food and lifestyle: I have always eaten healthy food and lived a fairly healthy lifestyle but like everything else, it can use a bit of tweaking. I will talk about that in other posts and in my other blog soon.
So to you who are reading, stop and ask yourself if there is an area in your life that needs attention. If you have been meaning to make a few changes, now is always a good time to do that.Believe me, I know how easy it is to put off making changes that need to be made. I believe I posted earlier this year that I need to get back to meditation, exercise, etc. Doing those things probably would not have changed anything I have just went through but it would have given me additional support to get through it. I am not wasting time feeling guilty or chastising myself, I am just going to do it.
So now, I am going to stop before I get too preachy or start nattering on! This post is long enough.
The next post will be about progress. The steps may be a bit wobbly, but they will be there.