Healing and Recovery

Home sweet home.

I debated about posting what I am about to post, but lately I have had a lot of time to think. I have concluded that the stories of the ups and downs of life also go into my art and need to be told. No worries, I will do my best to spare you all the gory details!

First of all, I am writing this from a place of healing and reflection. It is a good place to be even though at times I get restless. It is a necessary place to be. I do, however, need to find a path that leads to here that isn't quite so painful. Does it exist? I don't know. I suspect we all find it in our own way.
August was a strange month. It had joyful highs, and gut wrenching lows. The highs were joyful times spent with family and friends. The previous post is about one of those gut-wrenching lows. Life with Twill was so very sweet and came full circle. She was my constant companion and a true joy. I will always have that, but I miss her and grieve for her.
The other challenge in August has been my health. Last week I had surgery to remove a very large benign tumor in my abdomen. The surgeon also removed my right ovary and fallopian tube. All of this is a huge relief for me. Before the surgery I looked about 5 months pregnant and was very very uncomfortable. I lost 12 pounds overnight from the surgery!
Needless to say, I am on the way to healing but will not be able to go out to paint for a month or so. I will be able to work in the studio in short shifts and plan to start next week. I tire easily and, if I am not careful, I tend to overdo it a bit.
I do listen to my body. I have not taken pain meds other than what they gave me during the surgery so my body definitely tells me when to stop. It is a bit disconcerting that I need to stop often.
This has been a time to rest, re-evaluate, contemplate, and heal. When events around me start shouting this loud, I stop and listen. When I do this, the things that are most important to me come popping to the surface. Here is what I find important now:

• Community: I have been touched and humbled by the wonderful people in our little community who have given me everything from loving thoughts, support, and offers of places to stay while in Portland during the surgery, not to mention flowers, hugs and kisses, and offers of food. They all have inspired me to return that love ten-fold and to count my blessings. This has been a good reminder on how important community is for everyone, specially now and in the future.
• Art: the need to create is still a major path in my life and is becoming even more urgent now. I am renewing my dedication to making even more progress in my drawing and painting skills. I have pages of ideas in my sketchbook that need to come to life.
• Music: This has been a rising star in my life bringing me much joy. I have the privilege of playing in a live performing band with my mate and dear friends. We are growing as a group and for my contribution, I need to step up and continue to improve my cello skills which have a long way to go.
• Healing food and lifestyle: I have always eaten healthy food and lived a fairly healthy lifestyle but like everything else, it can use a bit of tweaking. I will talk about that in other posts and in my other blog soon.

So what does all of this have to do with creating art? Everything! It isn't separate as I am sure many of you know. I never know how many people read these posts but sometimes I post things of this nature to release them into the universe.

So to you who are reading, stop and ask yourself if there is an area in your life that needs attention. If you have been meaning to make a few changes, now is always a good time to do that. 

Believe me, I know how easy it is to put off making changes that need to be made. I believe I posted earlier this year that I need to get back to meditation, exercise, etc. Doing those things probably would not have changed anything I have just went through but it would have given me additional support to get through it. I am not wasting time feeling guilty or chastising myself, I am just going to do it.
So now, I am going to stop before I get too preachy or start nattering on! This post is long enough.

The next post will be about progress. The steps may be a bit wobbly, but they will be there.

Courage

Road bed at Hug Point, OR, © 2012 R.L. Delight

Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage. -Brené Brown

I woke up this morning knowing what I was going to write about in this post. I was very relieved because, until this morning, I wasn't exactly sure! I'm not quite ready to talk about the current project on the easel as it is deeply personal and is taking all the courage I have to work on it. I will be talking about the work very soon though and I have been taking pictures of the work in progress to put into a nice video slide show.
The work has been a struggle. It isn't a struggle because of the technical aspect, which is indeed stretching my skills, but because of the emotional aspect. You see, it is taking "all the courage I have to work on it" because it is a subject that leaves me deeply vulnerable, on many levels.

I have a renewed respect for the many artists out there that I particularly admire. I knew their work took skill to create but I didn't realize just how much courage it took, not just to create it, but to finish it and then put it out into the world. 

Never being one to ease into the waters of uncertainty little by little, I have jumped into the deep end in a couple areas in my life, not just art. I have to admit, I find it rather exhilarating even though I am no adrenaline junkie. I even don't mind failing since I learn so much each time. That doesn't mean that it isn't painful or that it gets any easier. I will sprinkle talk about the other things I have jumped into here and there in future posts.
I think the reason I woke up with this post in my mind this morning is because of the TED video of Brené Brown I viewed yesterday. She so very articulately put into words for me why I was having such an emotional struggle getting this work done. If you haven't viewed her video on vulnerability from last year, take a look at it first (use the search bar at ted.com) and then the current one above. Now that I recognize what is behind the struggle, I am quietly gathering my courage and continuing on.
The picture above is the old roadbed at Hug Point, a place I have talked about a time or two in previous posts. In the past, it took an act of courage to travel that road depending on the weather and tides, a different kind of courage than the one I need, but courage none-the-less.
I will finish with one more quote from Brené's TED talk:

Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. -Brené Brown

Wishing you all a day of beauty...and courage.
-Renee

When a Painting Goes Bad, It Goes Really Bad...

Nope, can't do it! I just cannot put a picture of my current painting in progress when it apparently has a mind of its own and it has gone very wrong. So...deep breath...what happened? It started innocently enough. I decided to try a new-to-me technique (fate temptation number one) with the expanded teapot set-up I took a photo of a couple of posts back. I was feeling fairly confident (fate temptation number two) after painting just the teapot, lid, and candy in the small quick painting from the previous post. This time I did a drawing of the entire set up and transferred the drawing to a 9"x12" canvas. So far, not so bad. The drawing looked accurate even after I set it aside and came back to it. After transferring the drawing, I started painting...and things fell apart from there! Suddenly things are not looking like they are in the correct place and the teapot, my god the teapot has...expanded...and...it looks like something sat on it!
OK, I know when things take a sharp turn to the dark side it is time to take a good break. I took Twill and headed out to the beach for a lovely long and very chilly walk. During the walk I reflected on what I have learned during the past couple of years about what to do when things go wrong in the painting/drawing department. So, step back, look at the whole. Yes, yes, somehow things have run wild and have gotten off kilter. I know from experience that just shaving a bit here and adding a bit there doesn't always work. Actually, I have found it usually doesn't work and makes things even worse in the long run! So, upon returning and looking at said "whole" I can see a few things that can be done and lessons reinforced along the way.
I believe I mentioned in a recent post that I see things better when painting than drawing. In the future, unless there is a very convincing reason, I will not be starting a painting by transferring a drawing. Drawing with paint, yes. Painting a drawing, no. It was a good thing to try though and now I know, not for me. I knew that things could go wrong even with an accurate drawing that had been transferred but wow, what a wreck!
So, I will be setting the painting aside as I have a special visitor coming for a day or two and want to do some sketches of her. I will be going to life drawing on Sunday too so I won't be getting back to the painting until next week. I might have a sketch or two to post and I am still working on the composition for a very special painting I am starting. No, I will not be doing a drawing and then transferring it! I will do a few more composition and thumbnail sketches though!
Well, I feel better. Worse comes to worse, I can always have at the canvas with a sharp knife and weave the shreds into something pretty...!
OK, I know you all have your own creative disaster stories, it goes with the territory. So, have you ever recycled a mess into something triumphant? Please do share!
-Renee

I Geek Creativity

I am posting this a bit early as we have the first official hurricane-force wind warning for the Oregon coast since 2007. The storm is due to hit in the wee hours and I am not sure if we will have power tomorrow. I wanted to honor my new commitment to posting on this blog twice a week. Winter has definitely decided it was time to show up. We had 2" of snow on the beach yesterday morning! Twill and I took the camera along on our morning sunrise walk:

Twill is my dear goofy dog. She is the best studio companion!
I have a lot of exciting things going on in my art world. In spite of that, I am putting in time in the studio. First up, I have a website built! My website can be found at rldelight.com. On it you will find pictures of my art, my artist statement, and bio. Oh, and the Delight? That is my last name, really!
Second, every spare minute I have has gone into listening and learning about art and art marketing. My latest and best find so far has been this fantastic podcast with Dreama Tolle Perry and Leslie Saeta. They have put out quite a few of them so it will take a while to hear them all. I have learned so much! They put in good research and produce quite an informative podcast, not to mention they are fun to listen to. I would highly recommend the podcast to anyone who is getting started in marketing their art or craft (weavers take note, most of their information would apply to a weaving business too!)
Finally, I love to read and study the art and science of creativity. I have been doing this for years so I have quite a list of books I have read and websites I have investigated. I rarely learn anything really new but I do find most of them inspiring, and some not as inspiring. One common thread that nearly all, if not all, have is this simple message:
Do The Work!!!
Do It Now.
Sometimes it is put in different terms like show up at the page/easel/loom. Notice I used every highlight device I have at my disposal on the phrase. I bet you already know this in your heart and head. Sometimes it can take a bit to get it into your body. That's OK, as long as it gets there! My body is starting to get that and dances up to the studio, climbs into the loom, and sits down with the cello with regularity. I am finding it very joyful.
I will put the podcast and artist links in the side bar too. Go listen to the podcast. I subscribed through iTunes and listen to it (and others) while I do dishes and clean house. I have even caught myself doing chores that I would otherwise put off because I know I get to listen to the podcast! Hint: have a notepad and pen handy.
Now I am off to batten down the hatches. I will have a progress report on my painting on Sunday.
-Renee